Facing The 7 Deadly Needs


Dangerous Behaviors That Hurt Relationships


If your relationships continue to fail after a while, you could be committing one of the seven deadly needs that kill relationships. Similar to the seven deadly sins, the actions described in this set of rules are ones you should stay far away from in order to nurture a healthy, loving relationship that makes both parties happy.

To improve your relationships, learn to recognize these seven behaviors that are hurting them: 

1. The Need to Know


Facts and information can be helpful and enlightening in the right situation. However, knowing the details of social situations that aren’t your business can get you into trouble. The habit of probing for information about other people’s lives to satisfy your own curiosity can be dangerous. It often leads to judgements about the people you care about that are not your place to make.

2. The Need to Be Right


In any conflict, if one person is proven right, the other isn’t necessarily wrong. The need to be right sets up an adversarial relationship between two people. You could consider your need to be right that same as your need to prove someone else wrong. Making a practice of pointing out other people’s mistakes can be detrimental to close relationships.

3. The Need to Get Even


Revenge is a destructive emotion, especially for the person who seeks it. Seeking revenge puts you in the victim’s role when conflict arises. It forces you to evaluate the situation as a loss for you. Revenge will never make you feel as though the score is even. There will always be one more score to settle. Acceptance and forgiveness are more calming than revenge.

4. The Need to Look Good


Appearance isn’t everything. Looking good doesn’t fill the void when you don’t believe you’re good enough. When your energy is focused on trying to look good, it’s not working on what really matters.

5. The Need to Judge


Judgement tears relationships apart. No one is perfect, so while you’re passing judgement, you’ll find flaws. Strive for acceptance instead. No one likes to be judged.

6. The Need to Keep Score


Keeping score is childish and encourages competition. In a loving relationship, you’re not in competition with your partner. You’re both striving to be the best individual you can be while working to support the other’s efforts. There’s no real comparison between the unique gifts each of you brings to the relationship.

7. The Need to Control


Control is a dangerous idea. No one can truly control life, and especially not the actions of someone else. Your attempts to maintain control will only breed frustration and disappointment. Relinquish control and accept life as it comes.

How To Build A Healthy Relationships


Building a healthy relationship requires you to be your authentic self. Better relationships are built between two people who know their own hearts and can relax and accept emotional intimacy without feeling threatened. Bad habits and defenses ruin relationships.

Addiction also ruins relationships. If you’re guilty of these seven deadly needs, you’re not in a healthy relationship. Start by examining yourself to understand why you are not confident the way you are — there’s a good chance addiction plays a role in your neediness.

It’s impossible to have a healthy relationship when you’re addicted to substances, whether it be addiction to drugs or alcohol abuse. Contact Tranquil Shores today to learn about their addiction treatment programs and get better relationship tips. They can help you heal your life and your relationships.

Tranquil Shores gives their clients the opportunity to dig deep and answer questions that may have been plaguing them for years. We treat the whole client, not just their substance abuse issues. Call today and reclaim your life!

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Last Updated: August 31, 2017